I was accosted by my boss

who flossed me with an albatross

and tossed me into moss

and told me he was cross

and introduced himself as Ross

from Friends, with Trevor's

picture on his head

and got down on one knee and said

"eat this soggy human bread

though your shiny teeth are red

marry me instead.

or I promise I'll be dead

by the morning

this is your last warning....

this is the beginning to a camp song written many years ago and kept alive orally. I never got the rest of the verses, and this chorus is all I can remember. It is accompanied by a lovely melody that is easily yet happily stuck in your head, and has many long and clever verses.

Next post: The spearmint tea conspiracy!