Which is not to say that I feel bitter, nor do I feel especially sweet, yet that word now means something else: That with happiness or pleasure, there is a tinge of somethi
ng else mixed in as well, something dark and painful or shifting and sad. And with everything, there must be this philosophy, because with one, there must be the other. I think that to have pure happiness, untouched by any other emotion, would cause me to burst. Right open. So, for our safety, there is always something to put a break on a feeling. The other way too. For sadness, there is always something good, something happy, just many people choose not to find it, nor listen to it. And then they are overwhelmed.
But right now, I am just feeling a lazy happiness, as the birds repeat their songs over and over, yet do not become annoying; as my stomach amicably grumbles for some food, and my feet tingle softly with coolness. And here I am, being lazy, though at any moment, my emotions could change, I guess. I'm not bipolar or anything. I believe that many people, most people, indeed, are this way. I am strongly affected by music, good music, the music I like. And to listen to a sad song is to be sad--I have cried on such songs, and nearly done so on others. To listen to a joyful song is to be joyous, to listen to an angry song is to become enraged. And I wonder at the feelings such simple words and melodies can evoke, and I wonder if the people singing them felt the way I do as I listen. You can usually tell if they don't.
To sum this post up, I would like to say that I am going to be happy for the rest of the day, though I never will know if it will be shoved to the back, or pushed to the front. I will await the news or happenstances that will change these things as well as I can, and I advice you do, too.
-Lola
Title Quote: The Beatles, Fixing a Hole
